Catholic Exchange

Bless Me Father, for I Have Kids

Got questions about Catholic family life? Youve come to the right place! As a lifelong Catholic, devoted wife, diligent homeschooler, and mother of seven, Susie Lloyd knows lots of people who just might have the answers for you.

Susie herself is too busy to give advice: busy giving home haircuts and finding missing socks; busy teaching her teen girls to drive, cook, and diagram sentences; busy praying for divine protection while she races off to church (late) in her full-size van. But every so often, Susie finds a few moments to share the wit and wisdom shes gleaned from:

  • Teaching her kids about the Facts of Life: Somewhere there must be a book which can aid me in my duty. In it there would be many pages devoted to birds, bees, and flowers. None involving kegs and station wagons.
  • Quelling her teen girls phobias: Top of the list is frumpophobia: fear of being seen in a skirt when every other teen at the party, except the statue of Mary, will be in jeans. It gets worse if your dad thinks it would be lovely not only to wear the skirt but a veil as well.
  • Handing on Catholic customs: When I was small, my mother taught me to say a Hail Mary whenever I heard an ambulance. Its really a beautiful habit and habit is the word I dont know how many people Ive prayed for whose car alarm was going off.
  • Getting older: Some people tell me I could be my teens older sister. These people are usually 103 years old and wear their glasses hanging from a chain. But Ill take it.
  • Strangers who question her family size: Whats funny is, the people who call you nuts really expect you to act sane, and not like this: Nuts? Children, would one of you be a good girl and get the gun out of Mommys diaper bag?
  • Enduring her childrens music lessons: Piano recitals are a time-honored way of gaining a plenary indulgence, provided we hold no attachment to murdering the piano teacher.
  • Joining a homeschool co-op: None of us wanted to quit homeschooling; we just wanted somebody else to do it for us.
  • As she did in her beloved first book, Please Dont Drink the Holy Water, in these pages Susie Lloyd will charm and edify you with her offbeat but always pitch-perfect take on the joys and challenges of raising a Catholic family in todays world.

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